Week 02: Sixy Lady

Bent forgets it's three goals, not 3 points, that counts as a
hatrick before he can run off with ball

"What Ho! Jeeves!" exclaimed Minty.

And the felicitous sentiment is not lost on the rest of the League, by Jove. Darren Bent contributing 3 points to a Manager of the Week certificate-winning 19 point haul? Outrageous fortune.

Yes, like a vigorous walk down the street wearing a pair of jeans that are just too tight in just the right places, Minty has risen to a surprise early climax for Week 2, thanks to her perennial blind loyalty to the Bent One.  Indeed, after last week's hot six, she now rests, spent and panting, on top, quivering with an inexplicable afterglow.

Lovely to see.

Also with sweaty palms, gripping at a corner of another shared Manager of the Week certificate is Malcolm Pratt.  His 1964 Prathletico Grande also nicked 19 points and pushed his charges up into third.

And still no transfers from anyone...  We ask "which weak-minded manager will lose their patience first?" - OFFL HQ are rumoured to be rehearsing a carnival style welcome for Livercoolio's usual season-opening transfer request as we write.

And by the way, yes, we have an OFFL Cup winners prize this year.  Yessiree.

Note From The Chairman

If you have any issues with the formatting of your weekly email please pass on your comments to studmarks@gmail.com.  As always, it is best read in 'Courier New' 10pt.  Most other monospace or fixed-width fonts will do, really.  All that effort to make sure everything lines up properly...nobody ever notices, grumble whinge etc.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9 19  37

 2 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.8 17  35

 3 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.9 19  34

 4 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9 14  32

 5 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.5 13  31

 6 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.9 14  30

 7 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      54.6 11  29

 7 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    54.8 14  29

 9 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.5 14  28

 9 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   55.0 12  28

11 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    54.7  9  27

12 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     55.0 11  23

13 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4 10  21

13 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8 10  21

15 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    54.7 10  19

16 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       53.6  9  15

16 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0  4  15

18 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7  3  10

19 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.9  1   6

20 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.6  0   0

                              Week's Average Points    11

                              Total Average Points     23

Week 01: "Stop The Press! We need it for more 'Manager of the Week' Certificates"

Well that's never happened before.  Six managers, SIX of them, are all sharing Week One's top spot in the league with 18 points apiece.  This means there are SIX Manager of the Week certificates to be spewed out from the upper windows of the OFFL HQ's printing department.

Like a really naff ticker tape parade.

Also a first, each team that has been submitted to date has Robin Van Persie ARS as a striker.  This effectively means you're all fighting this season out with ten men.  Effectively.

Furthermore, we welcome back Kate Wilson to the best Fantasy Football League in the whole wide room.  The relentlessly optimistic Oxford United supporter has thrown her straw boater into the ring with other Oxford notables, Alun Edwards and Neil McConaghy.

Back too, with magnificent pedigree, is 2006 Champion Guy Harewood, and ukulele playing Brighton & 'Hove Actually' stalwart Nick Reed.  They'll be vying for supremacy with the only manager to ever achieve The Double: Steve Tierney is back to wave his Tierney's Twonks about, hoping to repeat the performance of 2004.  Let's emphasise that again... The Only Team To Have Done The Double.  That was an enormous achievement.  Enormous.  As is Steve.

[If all the stories are true]

[To be fair they're all HIS stories]

We also welcome back the current back-to-back Champions, Inter Milandrover.  But the less said about them the better.

Welcome back one and all, and remember... it's a marathon, not a etc etc.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds        Neil McConaghy      54.5 18  18
 1 Blat Setter's Mad HatteGavin Ward          54.6 18  18
 1 Real Mcdrid            Craig McHugh        54.7 18  18
 1 Woolyback Returns      Guy Harewood        54.8 18  18
 1 Mintal Institute       Minty Colquhoun     54.9 18  18
 1 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.9 18  18
 7 Eggafield Rovers       Edgar Rayner        54.8 15  15
 7 1964 Prathletico GrandeMalcolm Pratt       54.9 15  15
 9 RS-TBOY                Rick Beecroft       54.5 14  14
10 Livercoolio            Russ Bielby         55.0 12  12

11 Botley Yellow          Kate Wilson         54.4 11  11
11 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah Bielby        54.8 11  11
11 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        55.0 11  11
14 Pyeators II            Dave Clayton        54.7  9   9
15 Moobchester Utd        Jon King            54.7  7   7
16 Gone Poyet Gone        Nick Reed           53.6  6   6
17 Lashings Of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  5   5


                          Week's Average Points        13
                          Total Average Points         13
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