Week 27: Timing

Comedy is all about Tierney.  I mean timing.  No, lost it.

Manager of the Week this week is Mr Mike Smears. His Irishpool thrashed the rest of the league with a mighty 15 points.  No doubt OFFL HQ will get something in the post from him [recorded delivery] pointing out where OMG Chairman is going wrong with the OFFL Winter Fuel Payments.  Or something similar.

Or dissimilar, even.

And Happy 40th Birthday [Tuesday] to Steve Tierney.  He's celebrated this week by scoring minus 1 point.

Comedy is all about...


 ...timing, Mr Tierney.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4  8 360
 2 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      53.5  8 311
 3 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0  6 297
 4 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4  9 287
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.1  6 286
 6 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.3 15 279
 7 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4  3 271
 8 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9  2 267
 9 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 10 265
10 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.3 -1 262

11 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   55.0  7 245
12 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       54.8  0 240
13 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.8 11 236
14 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    52.8  4 228
15 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.4  0 219
16 Moanchester Ununited       Alex Blundell   55.0  5 219
17 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9  8 215
18 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.0 10 212
19 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7 10 198
20 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.0  6 196
21 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    52.5  9 193
22 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8  7 187
23 Mainly Bell Jam            Hercule Poirot  54.0  2 174
24 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4 -1 174
25 It Goes To Eleven          Tom Vamos       47.3  5  89


                              Week's Average Points     5
                              Total Average Points    236

Week 21: OFFL Cup Group Stage Results

Mike Smears is Manager of the Week: his Irishpool Zimmers one place up the League.

Manager of the Weak [and frail] is Mike 'Last Legs' Smears.  His Irishpool Zimmerred one place up the league thanks to a magnificent, yet unexpected, weekly haul of 22 points.

Also of note is Tom Vamos's 15 points but his 'It Goes To Eleven' are still rooted to the bottom of the table by 72 points so we won't dwell on that for too long.

In fact, that was it.

So, how about some OFFL Cuppage?

OFFL Cup

Group Stage, Final Standings.

Group A                       Value Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Livercoolio                   54.4  21  14   35
  RS-TBOY                       54.6  14  12   26
  Eggafield Rovers              52.9  17   5   22
  Neil's Diamonds               53.8  12   8   20
  Botley Yellow                 54.4   8   3   11   Out
  
Group B                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Radnorshire Tigers            52.5  25  11   36
  Blat Setter's Mad Hatters     52.5  18  14   32
  Inter Milandrover             54.6  19   9   28
  Moanchester Ununited          55.0  14  10   24
  Lashings Of Cheese            54.4  11  10   21   Out
  
Group C                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  It's A Snickers               54.0  32   7   39
  Fattered Tanj                 53.4  13   7   20
  Which Team                    52.8  12   7   19
  Tierney's Twonks              53.2   6   4   10
  Moobchester Utd               54.7   8  -1    7   Out
  
Group D                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Pyeators II                   55.0  22  15   37
  Mintal Institute              54.9  17  12   29
  Mainly Bell Jam               54.0  18   4   22
  1964 Prathletico Grande       54.4  14   8   22
  Real Mcdrid                   54.8  13   3   16   Out
  
Group E                             Wk20 Wk21 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Irishpool                     54.0  19  22   41
  Woolyback Returns             54.9  19  17   36
  It Goes To Eleven             47.3   5  15   20
  Gone Poyet Gone               52.7   0  10   10
  Johnny's Heroes               54.8   4   1    5   Out
 

Commiserations to all the exiting managers, who now are enabled for greater concentration on, say, the League.

Particularly strange is seeing Real Mcdrid leave the competition at such an early stage.  The last few years has seen Manager McHugh do well in the Cup, expecially in 2011 when he won it and last year when he was Runner Up to Gavin Ward's Olympilimps FC.  With nothing left to hope for Mr McHugh was last seen purchasing a one-way ticket to Zurich.

If Lashings of Cheese had been in Group C they'd have finished second and be sailing through to the next round.  As it is, the Cheese is OUT.  Also like Mr Hitzlsperger, The Moobs are OUT.  Oxford United's Kate Wilson's Botley Yellow are OUT too [tut, tsk and oof].  And as for Johnny's Heroes... well you just weren't treating the Cup with the respect it deserves, were you Mrs Bielby?  You ARE the weakest link... Goodbye!  

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     54.4 14 282
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.6  9 241
 3 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0 15 231
 4 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      52.5 14 224
 5 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 17 214
 6 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   53.4  7 213
 7 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.4  8 213
 8 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    52.9  5 211
 9 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.2  4 202
10 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       52.7 10 189

11 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.0 22 188
12 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.8  8 182
13 Moanchester Ununited       Alex Blundell   55.0 10 176
14 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9 12 170
15 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    52.8  7 169
16 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.4 10 166
17 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.6 12 165
18 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7 -1 144
19 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.0  7 140
20 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    54.8  3 138
21 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    52.5 11 134
22 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4  3 127
23 Mainly Bell Jam            Hercule Poirot  54.0  4 122
24 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8  1 122
25 It Goes To Eleven          Tom Vamos       47.3 15  50


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    176

Week 06: Mint Drop Trip

Gavin Ward receiving his prize from The Chairman
for winning the 2013 OFFL Cup

Pleasantly bewildering long term fans of his teams of yore, Chris Walsh has kept his eye firmly on the Bale this season and transferred out the 'No Longer Playing in the Premiership' player a mere three weeks after his move to the Fantasy Leagues of Spain. Well done, Mr Walsh. Maybe a finish in the top twenty this season IS possible after all.

The race so far: 

Progress, Points, Team Name

Meanwhile, manager of 2008 Champions and 2012 Cup Winners, Neil McConaghy, seizes the League's top spot from Minty Colquhoun this week by climbing two places and leapfrogging Malcolm Pratt's 1964 Prathletico Grande. Mintal Institute's little hiccough forced a tumble of four places - which is nothing when you look at Cup-holding manager Gavin Ward's Blat Setter's Mad Hatters who plummet seven places this week.

Interestingly, and perhaps rather unpleasantly bewildering, our Manager of the Week this week is the most senior of our managers, Mr Mike Smears. His Irishpool netted a massive 20 points which places the Irish Liverpudlian firmly into a dizzying twentieth place. Take a seat and catch your breath, Sir.

Uninterestingly, in a slight change to how the league table works, The Chairman has decided that he should do something to reduce the amount of times teams become equally ranked. So he's added a fancy new procedure which officially separates teams by the total points, then team value, then weekly score. And if that lot fails to set you apart in the table something will probably explode.

Have a good week.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.5 13  73
 2 1964 Prathletico Grande    Malcolm Pratt   54.9 10  73
 3 Woolyback Returns          Guy Harewood    54.9 10  70
 4 Fattered Tanj              Sarah Bingham   55.0 19  70
 5 Mintal Institute           Minty Colquhoun 54.9  2  66
 6 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9 13  65
 7 Gone Poyet Gone            Nick Reed       53.6 16  60
 8 It's A Snickers            Ash Keeler      54.9 14  60
 9 Livercoolio                Russ Bielby     55.0 13  58
10 Botley Yellow              Kate Wilson     54.4 11  57

11 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.4  7  57
12 Blat Setter's Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward      54.6  4  57
13 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    53.4 13  55
14 Eggafield Rovers           Edgar Rayner    54.8  8  55
15 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    54.7  4  51
16 Pyeators II                Dave Clayton    55.0  5  51
17 Johnny's Heroes            Sarah Bielby    54.8  1  46
18 Moobchester Utd            Jon King        54.7 11  44
19 Moanchester Ununited       Alex Blundell   55.0  7  39
20 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     54.5 20  38
21 Tierney's Twonks           Steve Tierney   53.6 16  37
22 Lashings Of Cheese         Chris Walsh     54.9 -1  19
23 Mainly Bell Jam            Hercule Poirot  54.0  5  11
24 It Goes To Eleven          Tom Vamos       45.9  2   5
25 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.6  1   1


                              Week's Average Points     8
                              Total Average Points     48
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